Thoughts of an Unknown Writer: An Update
Heart of Darkness
Seems as if this is where I have been lately…in the heart of darkness. Writing darkness, that is. My writer cave is filled with blood and pain, but this is just because my main character is truly a sociopath. I have taken some turns in my mind; exploring the darkest parts there. It has been interesting, to say the least.
What I had expected to finish during NaNoWriMo is still a work in progress. I’m not bitter about the time it’s taking, quite the opposite. My writing cave has been filled with new-found critique partners and lots of support. I have spent each day revising, editing and adding new words to each page. Although it’s been a long and slow process, I love my story.
The plan is to finish by June 1st, so that I may take the summer to query agents. In the meantime, I thought I’d share just a little taste of what I’ve been working on;) Enjoy!
The Bleeding Heart
Juan Paul Rodriguez. I remember his brown almond-shaped eyes, the ones filled with hatred and longing. I remember the stink of his venomous breath on my face and the way his blue tear tattoo underneath his left eye crinkled when he smiled at me. The feel of the menacing smile he gave me as he slit my throat.
Before that night, I was just your average troubled teen. Now, I’m a monster—a dangerous one—not one that will break into your house to steal prized possessions or shoot you dead on the street, but dangerous none-the-less. You’d never know this just by looking at me though, what with my fair skin, beautiful long wavy brown hair and large green eyes. I look like any normal seventeen year-old until you catch a glimpse of my neck where there is a large pink scar just two inches below my ears, running right across the front of my throat. Without my make-up on, one may get a glimpse of a few tiny scars on my cheeks, but those I’m very good at hiding. I have many disguises, and my face is just the one thing I cover.
The clothes I wear hide many other fine white lines that crisscross my body. As long as I don’t try to go sunbathing in a bikini, no one even knows they’re there. I don’t even try to hide my neck scar anymore; not only is it impossible, but it’s there as a reminder of who I’m and who I was. I see the jagged white scar everyday and it feeds my anger, keeps me alive in the shell of my mind.
Dreaming of meeting Juan again someday keeps the fire inside me burning, but it will be me who is in control the next time I see him. My body will be holding him down as I use my knife to slice open his brown skin, making his blood spill on the floor. No longer will I be the victim. Making Juan Paul Rodriguez bleed will be when I take back my life. When I will no longer be a monster.